Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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