Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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