This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
