Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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