Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
