My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
