sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize