My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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