Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
