Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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