I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
