i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
