Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
