I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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