I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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