Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize