Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
