We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
