I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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