You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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