This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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