FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
