I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
