the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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