how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
