If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize