So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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