Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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