so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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