Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize