i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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