I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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