what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
