why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize