Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
