She is in my trunk
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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