She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
