I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
