Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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