I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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