Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
