I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize