omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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