he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
