just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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