I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
