I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
