Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I got inside last night via doggy door
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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