Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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