So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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