she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize