Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
