Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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