He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is Oprah even human
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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