My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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