Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
