Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
