I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
