She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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