just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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