Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
