Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
