No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
vagina is talking i cant
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We don't watch enough power rangers
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Randomize
